Things have been good but nonstop. My goal is to move out in August. Knowing me, it will probably be a whole month or 2 later than that… but this shit is happening.
I miss taking photos. And there are so many songs that I’d like to shoot a simple but sweet 1080p music video for.
…And, come to think of it, I miss making music.
…And dirtbiking now that spring is in the air.
…And that reminds me, if I have extra money I’d really like a motorcycle.
I have too many hobbies.
Realized today that I’ve fallen AGAIN for someone else entirely.
She’s got me rethinking all kinds of things. And I like a girl who gets me thinking my life over, someone who can teach me something.
She impresses me right now with who she is and because of all that she’s getting to me more than anyone else can.
I would hate to ever fuck this up. If only I could be half as much inspiration to her.
After taking a breath.
Let’s see where this goes. I still don’t want to get too hopeful or look too much into something coming from this.
But there are signs that she feels at least somewhat similar, otherwise I would have stopped bothering…
If only the signs seemed COMPLETELY alike. Then I would feel a lot more comfortable and confident as to where I stand.
No matter how many feelings or signs get tossed back and forth with the last few girls that I’ve liked none have managed to convey to me that them wanting me was a sure thing. It’s always been half-assed, like they’re not over an x or they have a crush on not just me but someone else as well.
I really hope something works out soon with someone special is all I can say. And honestly, right now it comes down to whoever really puts forth the effort for me because I am not going to be easily swayed and hurt ever again. That has been long made up in my mind. I want to see someone fight for us to be together (not actual catty girl fights over me, helllllll no, I mean fighting for my heart). To that lucky girl, I will give every ounce of me.
I’m trying so hard to patiently wait and work at this.
Other than the “all my life” part I hadn’t even realized what this song was about until today, a day that coincidentally I was embarrassed in front of my friends by my family for failing them and not joining their business/living up to their expectations. I don’t think I’ve burst into tears so goddamn hard in so fucking long.
